the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
