Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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