My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize