Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
