Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
