I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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