Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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