my vag is so smooth its legendary
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize