Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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