he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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