We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Betty ford says i'm here all night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
