she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
