my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
