Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize