I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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