loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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