Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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