I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish i was in the wii world.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
