Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
