At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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