Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
