he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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