I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
