beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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