That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
