i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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