idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
