I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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