if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
