but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
