does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
two words: eviction party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
