Define "chronic" masturbator.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize