quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
