I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
