He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
