I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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