I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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