Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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