Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I still have a little drunk in my system
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
