My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
