thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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