So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
