Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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