Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
