I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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