yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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