You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
