is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
