Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
