no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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