idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize