sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
