party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
