Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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