i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
