So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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