A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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