I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
